My husband said he’s a realist and I’m an idealist. He’s frantic and in a state of panic, with worse case scenarios playing out in his head. It’s sort of like the way he’s the ultimate time keeper with his music. Rhythm really does come down to math. While his audience may listen to him jam and think it’s just off the top of his head, there is a rhyme to that rhythm. He seems to be looking for things to add up like that with life too. And he can belt out a bluesy, nagging worry when they don’t.
On the contrary, he makes me sound like I talk about God’s love and the faith that I have in His providing power, as if I’m lost in a flower child — rose colored glasses world.
It’s as if I’m doing that trust game where you put your arms across your chest, close your eyes and fall back into the arms of someone you trust. And my husband keeps saying, “stop messing around — God doesn’t have you like that.” I feel my husband’s tug, to make me snap out of it or he grabs me as I fall back.
I’m peaceful; very peaceful, I don’t have on rose colored glasses. The Holy Spirit gives me peace. I’m sort of a “we’ve come this far by faith…” and “this is the day that the Lord has made…” song bird.
And yes, it defies understanding. Yet, I don’t have all the answers. I guess that’s why my husband thinks he has to “save” me from going down with the sinking ship; pull me be out before everything comes crashing down or simply worry enough for the both of us.
I guess I don’t blame him for not believing me or “hearing it” for himself, when I tell him about the instructions or Word that I received from the Lord. I often receive the call to action so late in the game; the 11th Hour or after enduring a dark night. It has to feel like I’m making desperate moves. It may even feel like we’re bleeding to death and I come back to my husband with a bandaid from God. It’s not a quick fix and it isn’t so miraculous.
Again, this is where my peace defies logic. I guess he’s wondering how I can be so satisfied with such a simple fix or just enough light to see us through the day. My husband is looking for assurances and clarity with a scope days and months ahead.
I don’t poo poo my husband’s ways, because I’ve had enough times when I was certain that the Lord used him to save the day. Further, I know without question and with a heart full of thankfulness, that the Lord has woven us together to be a dynamic anointed team. We have accomplished and will accomplish much. I do however, suspect that God would probably like me to be a bit more, perhaps accountable. And, perhaps, my husband a bit more faithful.
Yes, that’s it we have the potential to be a beautiful double spouted vessel for the Lord, once He has had His way with both of us.
Lord. I trust that in your time and according to your amazing plan for us. You will have your way. My husband and I will be perfectly balanced and make beautiful music together for Your Glory.